I’m slowly succumbing to depression again. I have a history of clinical depression in the past that was healed through proper guidance and medication but I honestly think that I mostly helped my self, company of good new found friends helped me too and I became well. Last last year I’ve been overly depressed again but that time I healed my self without taking any prescription drug whatsoever though I admit I did something horrideous and I don’t wanna even remember it and I’ll keep and carry that secret to my grave. These past week has been almost unbearable to me. I keep on thinking negative thoughts that it started to drain what was left of my strength whenever I’m in my waking hours. I’m too young to feel this tired. I think I’m starting to hate going to work again and I seriously wanna resign for no apparent reason… Wait, I think there is. I’m tired and I wanna rest and I wanna feel the feeling of being a bum citizen again. Money can only do so much with my depression. I always tell Saowie this. “I’m lucky I believe in God and I fear him that I become afraid of the afterlife. I really want to commit suicide but I’m afraid of what I’ll face after that. I just want this to end.” Yes, suicidal tendencies. But don’t worry guys, I most likely won’t do it because of the said reason above, and please don’t make fun or mock me, it won’t change my views. Maybe I’m just really sad right now, but I’m aware how wonderful life is. And how lucky I am. I just don’t understand my self sometimes. I know this feeling will eventually pass and I’ll read this entry again and laugh at how silly and stupid I can be at times.

Hot morning here in the PH! Good morning guys! (and i’m in the middle of improving my tumblr theme!) (Taken with instagram)

New FB D.P.

Fave shot among the set.

I dreamed of the moon the other night, and I end up with the conclusion that it’s because I didn’t get to take a picture of the “Supermoon”. I thought I wasn’t bitter. But I guess I am.

But it’s ok, I have the full moon here as my background.

Taken last month.

i look so creepy. i like it.

This is how thin I am. But you guys don’t know how much I love to eat and how much  I can eat. Seriously. This was taken last month only. I am so glad I gain a pound or two after just a month. My goal is to gain weight and looks like I’m succeeding. My sis and mom think so too. 

My motivation to gain weight is enormous! I SHALL NEVER GIVE UP.

Bye bye Patar! I’ll miss you! *going back to manila now huhu* (Taken with instagram)

I’m skin and bones. (Taken with instagram)

Here at iceberg again! Get ready parfaits and ice creams! >:) (Taken with Instagram at Ice Bergs, By the Bay)

FB cover photo. :>

Finally uploaded the rest of it after 4 mos. lol. 

Yoh! Ok guys, it’s time for shameless plug. Follow me on instagram and i’ll followback. ‘coz seriously, i have no idea who to follow. And my account is so lonely. Argh (Taken with instagram)

Goodmorning!!! I just woke up. Munching on this home made cookies for breakfast! Craving for bacon though. :(

just because i love posting pictures of myself. 

Did I mention? I now haz red hair. :) 

anyway, *le follow me on twitter. https://twitter.com/#!/RayshiMacapagal

GPOY

I miss posting vain pics. LOL. Heck I miss being tolerable to the eyes. Posting old pic ‘coz I currently look like shit. 

Hello new followers. This is me. You can talk to me if you want. Can actually ask me to check your blogs and I might follow back. Yes, I feel like following back some of my followers tonight. This is so rareeeeee.